Macho Row
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Post by Macho Row on Mar 12, 2015 17:53:24 GMT -5
I take great pleasure in fucking with those people. I'm a loser I admit it. But keeping them on the line as long as possible and screwing with them is one of my few pleasures in life now that I no longer have Dj and wamu to kick around. With that said, I can not tell you how irritating it is when they simply hang up on me before I can really get going into a bit. One of my favorites is when they call for my 83 year old grandmother and I say "this is she". You can literally hear the gears inside of their heads coming to a screeching halt followed by moments of silence and them stuttering to find their next line to repeat. hahahahaha. So does Chip Kelly take of for college soon? One could surely think so. At this point I can't imagine how this will work out but who knows. Maybe and hopefully I am dead wrong. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2015 18:17:24 GMT -5
I prefer to cut them off before they get started on their shtick. A quick "not interested" saves me wasting my scarce valuable free time. More fun though is when a Joho or a Mormon knocks on my door. Then they can actually see the look of disdain on my face as I shut the door in their faces before they've opened their yaps. They don't even get a word out before they are sent packing with their Awake pamphlets or Book of Mormon in hand.... My wife always opened the door with a low cut blouse and the rosary dangling between both breasts Pic or it didn't happen. Actually 30 minute video would be better... <just kidding....kind of> |
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Post by tnerb57 on Mar 12, 2015 18:48:20 GMT -5
I prefer to cut them off before they get started on their shtick. A quick "not interested" saves me wasting my scarce valuable free time. More fun though is when a Joho or a Mormon knocks on my door. Then they can actually see the look of disdain on my face as I shut the door in their faces before they've opened their yaps. They don't even get a word out before they are sent packing with their Awake pamphlets or Book of Mormon in hand.... One of these days... I'm gonna answer the door nekkid for a JoHo... just because. Show them your "Watchtower". |
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Otis B. Driftwood
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 12, 2015 19:34:07 GMT -5
One of these days... I'm gonna answer the door nekkid for a JoHo... just because. Show them your "Watchtower". More like the hour hand... on a small clock. |
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Harry Crack
FFN
if GOD did not mean for us to eat animals He would not have made them out of meat
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Post by Harry Crack on Mar 13, 2015 6:44:19 GMT -5
Telemarketer calling my Cell Phone: I see your auto warranty is about to expire Sir. Is that correct? Me: Which car? Telemarketer calling my Cell Phone: Uhhh... I don't have that in front of me Sir. Me: Then - how do you know my auto warranty is about to expire? Telemarketer calling my Cell Phone: <click> My Bro in law does the very best East Indian accent , and he holds his composure (crucial) , one of his favourite techniques is to aggressively start asking " Rasnish ?? is that you ? ....oh come on , you got a job , good for you , etc etc -sooo funny |
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Otis B. Driftwood
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 13, 2015 7:14:31 GMT -5
Telemarketer calling my Cell Phone: I see your auto warranty is about to expire Sir. Is that correct? Me: Which car? Telemarketer calling my Cell Phone: Uhhh... I don't have that in front of me Sir. Me: Then - how do you know my auto warranty is about to expire? Telemarketer calling my Cell Phone: <click> My Bro in law does the very best East Indian accent , and he holds his composure (crucial) , one of his favourite techniques is to aggressively start asking " Rasnish ?? is that you ? ....oh come on , you got a job , good for you , etc etc -sooo funny Man... I wish I could keep my shit together and do that! And - roll tape while doing so. Even tell the telemarketer "So... I am recording this call for quality, my very good friend..." Someone called me one time from AT&T a few years ago. Girl who was clearly reading from her card. Actually - she might have been tethered to it because it was clear the gift of adlib was not with her. At the end of the call, I asked her if I could offer some advice... and told her she didn't read very well. Click |
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NYR
FFN
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Post by NYR on Mar 13, 2015 8:51:17 GMT -5
My Bro in law does the very best East Indian accent , and he holds his composure (crucial) , one of his favourite techniques is to aggressively start asking " Rasnish ?? is that you ? ....oh come on , you got a job , good for you , etc etc -sooo funny Man... I wish I could keep my shit together and do that! And - roll tape while doing so. Even tell the telemarketer "So... I am recording this call for quality, my very good friend..." Someone called me one time from AT&T a few years ago. Girl who was clearly reading from her card. Actually - she might have been tethered to it because it was clear the gift of adlib was not with her. At the end of the call, I asked her if I could offer some advice... and told her she didn't read very well. Click You have to "go down" to go 'up" in this life |
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Post by Canuck eh? on Mar 13, 2015 8:51:30 GMT -5
Show them your "Watchtower". More like the hour hand... on a small clock. Breaking News -
Otis admits to having a small clock.
Film at 11.
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NYR
FFN
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Post by NYR on Mar 13, 2015 8:55:00 GMT -5
More like the hour hand... on a small clock. Breaking News -
Otis admits to having a small clock.
Film at 11.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hung like a gnat |
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Otis B. Driftwood
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 13, 2015 9:03:24 GMT -5
Man... I wish I could keep my shit together and do that! And - roll tape while doing so. Even tell the telemarketer "So... I am recording this call for quality, my very good friend..." Someone called me one time from AT&T a few years ago. Girl who was clearly reading from her card. Actually - she might have been tethered to it because it was clear the gift of adlib was not with her. At the end of the call, I asked her if I could offer some advice... and told her she didn't read very well. Click You have to "go down" to go 'up" in this life
in her case - "go down" = "mee luv u long time"
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Otis B. Driftwood
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Posts: 7,943
Likes: 2,185
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 13, 2015 9:04:23 GMT -5
More like the hour hand... on a small clock. Breaking News -
Otis admits to having a small clock.
Film at 11.
Had a sneaking suspicion you were a JoHo... |
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Post by Canuck eh? on Mar 13, 2015 9:06:12 GMT -5
Breaking News -
Otis admits to having a small clock.
Film at 11.
Had a sneaking suspicion you were a JoHo... Well I'm "awake" anyway. |
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Post by Hank Kingsley on Mar 13, 2015 9:29:44 GMT -5
I prefer to cut them off before they get started on their shtick. A quick "not interested" saves me wasting my scarce valuable free time. More fun though is when a Joho or a Mormon knocks on my door. Then they can actually see the look of disdain on my face as I shut the door in their faces before they've opened their yaps. They don't even get a word out before they are sent packing with their Awake pamphlets or Book of Mormon in hand.... My wife always opened the door with a low cut blouse and the rosary dangling between both breasts How do you plan what you're wearing for the possible door knock from a Joho? Or is that what she always wears? Can't see a sudden quick change cause the doorbell rang..... |
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Otis B. Driftwood
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Posts: 7,943
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 13, 2015 9:41:50 GMT -5
My wife always opened the door with a low cut blouse and the rosary dangling between both breasts How do you plan what you're wearing for the possible door knock from a Joho? Or is that what she always wears? Can't see a sudden quick change cause the doorbell rang..... So... are you saying I should just start answering the door nekkid all the time Hank? |
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Post by Canuck eh? on Mar 13, 2015 9:48:34 GMT -5
How do you plan what you're wearing for the possible door knock from a Joho? Or is that what she always wears? Can't see a sudden quick change cause the doorbell rang..... So... are you saying I should just start answering the door nekkid all the time Hank? It would probably stop those relatives that just "pop by". |
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Post by Hank Kingsley on Mar 13, 2015 10:16:13 GMT -5
How do you plan what you're wearing for the possible door knock from a Joho? Or is that what she always wears? Can't see a sudden quick change cause the doorbell rang..... So... are you saying I should just start answering the door nekkid all the time Hank? A good plan is required for success. |
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NYR
FFN
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Post by NYR on Mar 13, 2015 10:19:02 GMT -5
My wife always opened the door with a low cut blouse and the rosary dangling between both breasts How do you plan what you're wearing for the possible door knock from a Joho? Or is that what she always wears? Can't see a sudden quick change cause the doorbell rang..... because they usually linger for awhile continually ringing the doorbell. They have nothing better to do. |
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Macho Row
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Post by Macho Row on Mar 13, 2015 15:41:32 GMT -5
How do you plan what you're wearing for the possible door knock from a Joho? Or is that what she always wears? Can't see a sudden quick change cause the doorbell rang..... because they usually linger for awhile continually ringing the doorbell. They have nothing better to do. They don't believe in parties. But those fuckers sure do dance when you turn the hose on them. |
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Post by Hank Kingsley on Mar 13, 2015 15:43:11 GMT -5
because they usually linger for awhile continually ringing the doorbell. They have nothing better to do. They don't believe in parties. But those fuckers sure do dance when you turn the hose on them. I think they always bring some poor kid along so folks don't go over the top on them. |
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Macho Row
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Post by Macho Row on Mar 13, 2015 17:15:09 GMT -5
They don't believe in parties. But those fuckers sure do dance when you turn the hose on them. I think they always bring some poor kid along so folks don't go over the top on them. I've noticed that lately. When I lived in the city it was always 2 adults. Everytime. Now there always does seem to be atleast one child with them. Little do they know I'll make an ass out of myself no matter the audience. |
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NYR
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Post by NYR on Mar 13, 2015 18:41:45 GMT -5
because they usually linger for awhile continually ringing the doorbell. They have nothing better to do. They don't believe in parties. But those fuckers sure do dance when you turn the hose on them. whackos if you ask me--the whole lot of them. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2015 18:51:23 GMT -5
They don't believe in parties. But those fuckers sure do dance when you turn the hose on them. I think they always bring some poor kid along so folks don't go over the top on them. Kids gotta grow up sometime..... |
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Otis B. Driftwood
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 14, 2015 8:59:31 GMT -5
I think they always bring some poor kid along so folks don't go over the top on them. Kids gotta grow up sometime..... Yup. And I feel it's my obligation to provide direction and structure if by chance one of them shows up on my front porch uninvited. I just try to make damn sure I look the adult in the eye to insure the kid understands it's not about him... it's about the zealot he is with. |
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Otis B. Driftwood
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Posts: 7,943
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 14, 2015 13:24:50 GMT -5
RIP Gene Gene...
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Harry Crack
FFN
if GOD did not mean for us to eat animals He would not have made them out of meat
Posts: 2,530
Likes: 730
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Post by Harry Crack on Mar 17, 2015 6:45:23 GMT -5
My Bro in law does the very best East Indian accent , and he holds his composure (crucial) , one of his favourite techniques is to aggressively start asking " Rasnish ?? is that you ? ....oh come on , you got a job , good for you , etc etc -sooo funny Man... I wish I could keep my shit together and do that! And - roll tape while doing so. Even tell the telemarketer "So... I am recording this call for quality, my very good friend..." Someone called me one time from AT&T a few years ago. Girl who was clearly reading from her card. Actually - she might have been tethered to it because it was clear the gift of adlib was not with her. At the end of the call, I asked her if I could offer some advice... and told her she didn't read very well. Click |
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Harry Crack
FFN
if GOD did not mean for us to eat animals He would not have made them out of meat
Posts: 2,530
Likes: 730
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Post by Harry Crack on Mar 17, 2015 6:49:42 GMT -5
that is why i admire him so much Otis - he can do his phone schtick and never crack himself up or even giggle. i would love to do what he does , but i laugh way to easily. I could not hold it together. My Sis in law told us a few years back about how he spent 5 minutes without cracking up talking with a poor boy scout bottle drive guy. something along the lines of " i will give you 60 cans for 2 cents each and you can return em for 5".........i wish i had been there
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Otis B. Driftwood
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Posts: 7,943
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 17, 2015 18:50:36 GMT -5
that is why i admire him so much Otis - he can do his phone schtick and never crack himself up or even giggle. i would love to do what he does , but i laugh way to easily. I could not hold it together. My Sis in law told us a few years back about how he spent 5 minutes without cracking up talking with a poor boy scout bottle drive guy. something along the lines of " i will give you 60 cans for 2 cents each and you can return em for 5".........i wish i had been there Funny thing is I can look someone in the eye and do something like that and never crack a smile. Complete control. But - I can't pull it off on the phone to save my ass. Go figure. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 20:21:27 GMT -5
that is why i admire him so much Otis - he can do his phone schtick and never crack himself up or even giggle. i would love to do what he does , but i laugh way to easily. I could not hold it together. My Sis in law told us a few years back about how he spent 5 minutes without cracking up talking with a poor boy scout bottle drive guy. something along the lines of " i will give you 60 cans for 2 cents each and you can return em for 5".........i wish i had been there Funny thing is I can look someone in the eye and do something like that and never crack a smile. Complete control. But - I can't pull it off on the phone to save my ass. Go figure. |
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Otis B. Driftwood
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Posts: 7,943
Likes: 2,185
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Post by Otis B. Driftwood on Mar 17, 2015 21:45:53 GMT -5
Funny thing is I can look someone in the eye and do something like that and never crack a smile. Complete control. But - I can't pull it off on the phone to save my ass. Go figure. Did DJ live in Littleton, Colorado? |
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Harry Crack
FFN
if GOD did not mean for us to eat animals He would not have made them out of meat
Posts: 2,530
Likes: 730
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Post by Harry Crack on Mar 19, 2015 6:34:20 GMT -5
when the heck is Deadliest Catch on again ?
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